Due to all the upsets in the NCAA tournament, the average office bracket will be won by Helena, the company accountant from Switzerland who thinks a free throw is worth four points.
The good thing about the Creighton-Duke contest is that because the game was played at an arena named for a bank, midway through the second half Creighton’s offense qualified for a bailout.
With Florida Gulf Coast and Harvard winning NCAA tournament games, all of a sudden I’m liking UNO’s chances when it’s eligible for the tourney.
Wild boar, bobcats, alligators and snakes roam the Florida Gulf Coast campus. This means Georgetown was basically eliminated by Lion Country Safari.
CBS analyst Doug Gottlieb apologized for making an awkward, inappropriate remark. Mr. Gottlieb, this is the NCAA tournament, not a job audition for ESPN. Thank you.
SI.com interviewed the WWE’s Big Show, a former Shocker, about Wichita State’s run. This is a school’s worst nightmare. National media calls for an alumnus. “You want our physicist who discovered cold fusion?” “Nah, man, I’m looking for Big Show.”
On April 5, the Harlem Globetrotters are coming to the CenturyLink Center. With all the basketball upsets lately, I’m picking the Washington Generals.
Minnesota Athletic Director Norwood Teague fired basketball coach Tubby Smith. Norwood vs. Tubby. Sounds like an inter-clique spat in “Revenge of the Nerds.”
Tim Miles dismissed speculation he’d replace Tubby Smith. That’s good. Miles just replaced Doc Sadler. If you replace Doc and then Tubby, you gain a reputation for assuming the jobs of guys who sound like Snow White’s dwarfs.
A Florida man has built a “bomb-proof man cave.” This is when you know you’re too into the NCAA tournament. You’re concerned about an enemy attack interfering with your enjoyment of the Valparaiso game.
The Miami Heat lost for the first time since Feb. 1. To put it in perspective, since the last time the Heat lost, almost every university in the country is in a different conference.
In the SEC, there’s a new program in which certain fans get paid to watch sports. Imagine getting paid to watch sports. It’s the same deal Matt Leinart has with the NFL.
The Lehigh Valley IronPigs minor league baseball team installed video game consoles in men’s urinals that you control when you “go.” I think it’s safe to say that the 2013 Nobel Prize in Science race is now over.
Nike’s new Tiger Woods ad asserting that “Winning takes care of everything” is receiving loads of criticism. Interestingly, none of that criticism is coming from Bill Belichick, Lance Armstrong, Barry Bonds or the Auburn football program.
Due to injury, Dorothy Hamill dropped out of “Dancing with the Stars.” Hamill leaving before Andy Dick is expected to do zero to burnish the image of the toughness of figure skaters.
The Husker women’s team earned a No. 3 seed for the upcoming National Collegiate Women’s Bowling Championship. OK, to me, this is the office bracket that really matters.
The Nebraska beach volleyball season is already over. I guess it took ’em two weeks to figure out we don’t have a beach.
And finally: During the Boston Bruins’ win over the Maple Leafs, Bruins assistant Geoff Ward threw his earpiece in frustration and it landed in a fan’s beer. He ruined a hockey fan’s beer. Wars have been started over lesser offenses.
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