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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* The Omaha primary election was held Tuesday. Now we're down to only two mayoral candidates and something like 67 people still running for OPS Board.
* There wasn't a great turnout for the Omaha primary. Next time, election officials are vowing to take my suggestion to sell fireworks at the polling places.
* Tuesday was Primary Day in Omaha. Or, as Mayor Suttle now refers to it: “Oh-Oh Day.”
* A quick CliffsNotes version of the election: Today, Jean Stothert is celebrating, Mayor Suttle is worrying, and Brad Ashford and Dan Welch are looking around going: “What was that? An April Fools joke?”
* A quick tip for local TV news reporters: here's how you know you're not on the fast track at your station -- on Election Night, you're assigned to Mort Sullivan campaign headquarters.
* Optimists are hoping that Suttle and Stothert can find common ground. I've poured over their records and transcripts, and all I can come up with is their last names both begin with “S.”
* It was not a great turnout on Primary Day. In one Omaha City Council race a candidate won by a 2 to 1 margin. That's two votes to one vote.
* I think this reveals the amount of apathy. On Wednesday morning, the article about the primary elections was the third-most popular on Omaha.com. No. 1: “Doctors answer your medical questions.” We're interested in the mayoral race, just not as much as we are in finding a cure for that goiter.
* A 16-year-old Blair High student named Zachary Robak memorized 1,002 digits of pi. If you're a girl at Blair High and Zachary said he was going to call you but he forgot the number, don't buy it.
* This kid memorized 1,002 digits of pi. Now Robak will attempt to top that feat by memorizing the names of all the candidates that ran for the OPS Board in the primary.
* Breaking news -- instead of airing the NCAA Tournament Final Four, CBS is asking permission to just run that commercial where the guy forgets to remove his ski mask in the store on a continuous, 24-hour loop.
* The U.S. is sending fighter jets to South Korea. Personally, I don't think Psy's new single is that bad.
* NASCAR's Danica Patrick appeared at the White House Easter egg roll. Let's all pray that our government is not so broke that White House events are now sponsored by GoDaddy.com.
* During a basketball shoot-around at the White House Easter egg roll, President Obama sank just two of 22 shots. In a sign of the times, nine of the shots were blocked by tea party members.
* Sen. Rand Paul announced he is basically neutral on gay marriage. OK, that settles it -- he's definitely running for president in 2016.
To counter Paul, every other potential presidential candidate immediately announced that he or she is neutral on every single issue.
* VP Joe Biden was inducted into the Irish America Hall of Fame. This is believed to be the highest honor ever accorded a sitting U.S. vice president.
* Hallmark cards has hired a lobbyist to try to stop the Postal Service from halting Saturday mail delivery. Today, the Hallmark lobbyist released an official statement which read:
We need mail delivery on Saturday.
Let's all find a way.
It will be Okay.
There's a way to pay.
Because you'll always be a dear friend.