There were dancing clowns, ponies, games, prizes, giveaways, hordes of screaming kids. That means one of two things: Either a new Chuck E. Cheese opened in Papillion, or the Omaha Storm Chasers played their home opener.
A concession item at the Texas Rangers' stadium called a Boomstick consists of a 2-foot, 1-pound all-beef hot dog served on a massive potato bun. You know we have a problem when hitters in the on-deck circle are using concession items to weight their bats.
The big trend with the awful spring weather this season: major league players building snowmen on the field. In a sign of the times, eight of the snowmen have tested positive for performance enhancers.
A scientist predicts that man will be extinct in 5 million years. In sports terms, that's seven Orange Bowl halftime shows and three NFL referee reviews from now.
Man will be extinct in 5 million years. That means if we rush, we can get this year's entire NBA playoffs in first.
Tim Miles is “fired up” about new forward Leslee Smith. Don't read too much into this. With his personality, Miles was fired up when the Devaney Center hired a new usher.
Mississippi State sent a recruiting letter to a player which read, in its entirety: “You're a baller.” In this era of Twitter, the kid complained the letter was so long he didn't have time to finish it.
Phil Jackson has joined Twitter. A man known for deep, cerebral thought on Twitter? The big surprise is that four seconds after joining, Jackson had not yet quit Twitter.
Rapper Jay-Z is selling his stake in the Brooklyn Nets so he can pursue a career as a players' agent. You hate to see a guy from rap music — known for fights, feuds and mayhem — get involved in something as seedy as agenting.
ESPN and the SEC have formed an alliance. As we went to press, it was unclear if this was to create a new television sports network or an attempt at world domination.
Ohio State passed out rings to its football team for going 12-0 while on probation. I wouldn't say Ohio State rewards rule breaking, but at the spring game, Lance Armstrong kicked off.
Oregon football is facing likely sanctions for committing “major” NCAA recruiting violations. I say give Oregon a year of probation for the violations and another 16 years for those uniforms.
Fourteen-year-old feel-good story Guan Tianlang was penalized for slow play at the Masters. Augusta officials are the types who would've called back the Jack Hoffman NU spring game touchdown because a player was lined up in the neutral zone.
Husker wrestling signed Destin McCauley from Minnesota, who excelled nationally at 66 kg. Based on my knowledge of the metric system, that means he'll be competing somewhere between 125 and 285 pounds.
At the Papillion-La Vista South Invitational, Grand Island pole vaulter Steven Cahoy nearly cleared an amazing 16 feet, 8 inches. To give you an idea how high that is, there were peregrine falcons on the crossbar.
And finally: After making a basket, a celebratory fist pump by the Chicago Bulls' Carlos Boozer hit the referee in the groin. Bob Knight and Rasheed Wallace immediately shouted, “Why didn't we think of that?”
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