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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* Spring weather is due to finally arrive in Omaha about 1:30 p.m. on Saturday. That will be followed by the beginning of summer at 1:34 p.m.
* Doug McDermott will return to Creighton for his senior season. This is the most exciting news Creighton fans have had since T-Mobile did away with contracts.
* Rep. Lee Terry is pushing for an NHL exhibition game in Omaha. Terry is co-chair of the Congressional Hockey Caucus. I know Terry said, with his seniority, if he was reelected, it’d lead to top-shelf committee appointments, but I didn’t realize he’d be so omnipotent as to earn a spot on the hockey committee.
* Imagine an NHL game here with the hard body checks, the cheap shots, the gouging. It actually sounds a lot like the mayoral candidates’ forum at Anthony’s.
* In a speech at Stanford University, Al Gore called the U.S. Congress “pathetic.” Rather shocking. What’s not shocking -- Gore giving a speech at a school where the mascot is a tree.
* On Thursday in Dallas, the new George W. Bush Presidential Center and Driving Range opened -- oh, wait, it’s just the George W. Bush Presidential Center.
* All the former presidents attended. Bill Clinton was scheduled to speak first, but instead organizers went with something that’d take less time -- a Sen. Rand Paul filibuster.
* Laura Bush’s bright red dress is on display. I found it totally inappropriate when Michelle Obama wore the dress home.
* Attending the opening were George W. and Laura Bush, Jeb Bush, George H.W. and Barbara Bush, and Bill and Hillary Clinton. It was basically “Political Family Feud.”
* President Obama praised George W. Bush. A Democrat praised a Republican. These days, can’t you be incarcerated for that?
* On his way to the opening of the new Bush Presidential Center, President Obama stopped and raised money for Democrats. Only Obama would stand up and say, “We’re here to honor a great man and amazing leader ... and more importantly, I just made a million bucks!”
* The George W. Bush Presidential Center contains an exact replica of the Oval Office. I’m trying to confirm that, after sitting in the chair behind the desk, Hillary Clinton refused to leave.
* President Obama just appeared on the “Today Show.” If he could keep Matt Lauer and Ann Curry at bay, it’s safe to assume Obama is looking at his second Nobel Peace Prize.
* Stop worrying, airline passengers, the U.S. Senate has unanimously passed a plan to end the furloughing of air traffic controllers. Now, the House of Representatives just has to do the right thing -- well, I guess it’s premature to stop worrying.
* At a concert, Beyonce wore a body suit with “faux protruding breasts.” It’s the same thing Tony Siragusa prowls the sidelines in at NFL games.
* In the battle with liberals, Sen. Rick Santorum compared conservatives to British Redcoats in the Revolutionary War. GOP members took Santorum aside and said:”Rick, Rick -- can you think you think of somebody who won to compare us to?”
* Due to climate change, airline passengers are expected to face a 10-to-40 percent increase in turbulence by 2050. To those of you who said, “Flying in this country cannot get any worse” -- it just did.
* Virgin America has a method for passengers to flirt with other passengers. Actually, with all the weather- and furloughed-air-traffic-controller-related delays, you can now flirt with a fellow passenger, have your first date, marry and separate all while stuck on the tarmac.
* McDonald’s is urging its employees to smile more. When you look at their pay, their working conditions and their uniforms, to get McDonald’s employees to smile more pretty much requires tickling.
* Texas may raise the smoking age to 21. Can’t you drive in Texas at something like nine?