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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning edition.
* At his press conference on Tuesday, some say that President Obama appeared bored. Apparently he just caught a glimpse of C-Span on the monitor.
* This is when you know we have political apathy. At an important press conference, the president is bored.
* In order to avoid this at future pressers, Obama will be standing alongside Harry Reid, who would make anyone seem like the happiest person in the world in comparison.
* Seated next to Harry Reid, Abe Vigoda would seem "up."
* The FDA is investigating the new caffeinated chewing gum. I guess you blow 11-foot bubbles.
* Twenty years ago this week, the first website was introduced. And I don't believe the AOL sign-on screen has changed one iota since.
* A pool party in Botswana was interrupted by a 7-ton (and angry) elephant. This still sounds like it went better than any of the dinner parties I've thrown.
* In Purcell, Okla., a meth lab was found to be operating out of a golf course porta-potty. This is sign No. 1 that your new country club isn't all that prestigious.
* The Omaha Beef offered Tim Tebow a contract for $75 per game. Tim, I'd consider it. You can live better in Omaha on $75 a week than you can in New York City on $700,000 per year.
* It's even better than it sounds. The Beef's offer includes performance bonuses that'd bring it up to $77.50.
* The Green Bay Packers signed linebacker Clay Matthews to a new contract. It's a five-year deal, so it'll take Matthews all the way to his next haircut.
* Ohio State passed out rings to its football team for going 12-0 while on probation. The amazing thing is 20 minutes later, only 16 of the rings had been swapped for tattoos.