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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* This Thursday and Friday, a solar eclipse will occur over parts of the world. The sun will completely disappear for an extended period. Or, as we call that in Omaha: "Spring."
* Justin Timberlake is coming to Omaha's CenturyLink Center next February. Justin Bieber is coming in July. This is part of the Link's "Guys-Named-Justin-Who-Appeal-to-Fans-Under-9" series.
* Some UNL grads are complaining about the lack of a formal commencement ceremony, which was supposed to be held in Memorial Stadium but was rained out. UNL officials were counting on good weather in Nebraska. OK, I see their first mistake.
* Grads say the informal ceremony at the Hawks Championship Center lacked dignity. Apparently all the diplomas were placed in a big pinata, which was smashed as a dean sang the school fight song.
* UNL officials are also disappointed a formal ceremony was not held. The grads entering the arena to "Pomp and Circumstance" would've provided them opportunity to raise tuition one final time.
* Mayor Jim Suttle claims challenger Jean Stothert's tax plan lacks specifics. Take the title: "Cutting Taxes on the Thingee and the What's-A-Ma-Call-It at Some Point Between Now and the End of Time."
* Water from a nuclear plant has leaked into Lake Michigan. In a possibly related story, a fisherman just landed an 800-pound carp.
* Professional extreme skier Rory Bushfield was crowned champion on "Splash." It's a feel good story. This proves if you take an accomplished pro athlete and pit him against a rotund comic, Playboy bunny, Baywatch actress and hand model, the pro athlete can emerge victorious.
* Formerly disgraced South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford was elected to Congress. Here's an idea: swear Sanford into office on a Bible with the three Commandments he observes highlighted.
* Sanford campaigned with a cardboard cut-out of Nancy Pelosi. I'd like to clear up some confusion -- the 'cardboard cut-out' of Sen. Mike Johanns is the actual Mike Johanns.
* A U.S.-South Korea summit is under way in Washington, D.C. Security is extremely tight -- and that's just to keep Psy out.
* George W. Bush just sat down with USA Today. Only in America do we summarize an eight-year presidency with a two-inch pie chart.
* On the Senate floor, Harry Reid called Sen. Ted Cruz 'a schoolyard bully.' Then Reid forked over his lunch money and Cruz left him alone.
* Due to the sequester cuts, we can expect fewer I.R.S. audits. Never before have the words 'silver lining' resonated more.
* A town in British Columbia wants to ban a smoke shop mascot called 'Bongy' -- who dresses like a giant bong. Bongy isn't worried. He currently has offers to be the mascot for three NBA teams, and he's also up for lieutenant governor of Colorado.
* How ironic would it be if you have to pass a drug test to get the job?
* Disney World is fighting to keep Florida workers from receiving paid sick days. Can you say 'Stingiest Place on Earth'?