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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* OPS is considering requiring a 2.0 GPA to play sports. When I was in high school, OPS had a similar requirement: you had to average 80 yards rushing per game or 10 points in basketball to stay eligible.
* The list of best beer towns in America does not include Omaha. Fraud!
* The list did include the small town of Bend, Ore., which is now going by the name Bender.
* Clear Lake, Iowa, is taking steps to ban bird feeding in parks and recreation areas. That may not be a bad idea for Omaha. I wouldn't say birds in my neighborhood are aggressive this spring, but last week they stripped my car and sold it for parts.
* I came home from work and found a group of robins carrying my big-screen TV to their nest.
* A Burlington, Iowa, man faces a sentence of six months on contempt of court charges for allegedly cursing and making obscene gestures after his jury duty selection. If he thinks jury duty stinks, wait until he sees jail.
* For the 37th time, the Republican-led House of Representatives has voted to get rid of Obamacare. Welcome to the legislative version of the movie "Groundhog Day."
* I understand that several representatives voted "Yadda, yadda, yadda."
* One of President Obama's advisors, Dan Pfeiffer, appeared on five Sunday morning talk shows. Because he appeared on five talk shows in one day, he was named an honorary Obama.
* At Morehouse College's commencement, President Obama called on grads to 'defend the powerless.' It's nice that Obama is still looking out for John Boehner.
* President Obama privately told friends that, in his second term, he wants to emulate Bulworth, the main character in a 1998 Warren Beatty movie. Bulworth once showed up drunk for a campaign event. Isn't there a movie called "Lincoln" out that Obama may prefer to emulate?
* Vice President Joe Biden told Rolling Stone he spends four-to-five hours with the president every day. I believe it's called caddying.
* Biden also said his wife, Jill, and Mrs. Obama are good friends. This is our first peek at Biden's 2016 presidential campaign -- the theme: "I actually know Barack Obama."
* The IRS scandal may lead to a 'softening' of the audit process. You know what that means -- no more waterboarding of taxpayers.
* According to a report, the Justice Department tracked the movements and correspondence of a Fox News reporter. I am shocked ... shocked that it was only one Fox News reporter.
* It's troubling to think we may live in a country where government is unaware of nuclear testing in North Korea because it's busy tracking the host of "Fox and Friends."
* The high school dropout who created Tumblr just sold it for $1.1 billion. I doubt you'll hear about this during too many commencement speeches this spring.
* In Helena, Mont., a dog ate $500 in cash belonging to his owner. Now the owner is waiting for the dog to pass the $500. I know exactly how he feels -- I'm waiting for my bank CD paying 0.4-percent interest to mature.
* Researchers report that mice can be taught to sing. You think those judges' jaws dropped when Susan Boyle began her performance.