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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* On Monday night, Jean Stothert was sworn in as mayor of Omaha. There was a formal swearing-in ceremony at City Hall, followed by another ceremony where the Jaws of Life were used to extricate Jim Suttle from his office.
* Jean Louise Stothert is Omaha's first female mayor ... and the most powerful person in the world named Louise in 2013.
* Stothert was sworn in at night. Sure, if they wanted Gov. Dave Heineman to attend, they had to wait until the golf courses closed.
* This was actually the last Monday evening that City Hall will be available. Due to Omaha's budget deficit, from now on, it's being rented out for Optimist's Club meetings.
* In a sign of the times, while taking her oath, Stothert was heckled by several Democrats and Omaha firefighters.
* Over the weekend, the Internet exercise craze of "Prancercise," where you gallop like a horse, made its debut in Memorial Park. This is not to be confused with the new exercise craze I'm starting called "goating" -- you put a bucket over your head and kick.
* A brawl broke out at a kindergarten graduation in Ohio. Commencement speaker John Boehner seized his honorary degree and ran.
* Sasha Obama turned 12 on Monday. The NSA monitored her phone records to see what she wanted.
* In business news, Verizon has just introduced its new "Friends and Spies" calling plan.
* It's reported that Edward Snowden, the whistle-blower who outed the NSA, is a Ron Paul supporter. Well, knock me over with a feather. I haven't been this shocked since learning who was buried in Grant's tomb.
* Verizon was forced to give customer phone records to the federal government. I guess I now know what it feels like to be a Fox News reporter.
* Hillary Clinton has joined Twitter and sent her first tweet. I believe it was: "Bill, come home now!"
* Hillary Clinton has joined Twitter, a platform for communicating with strangers in an informal context. Oh, she's running for president -- there's no way she'd join Twitter if she wasn't.
* President Barack Obama will appoint three new judges to the U.S. Appeals Court. Obama loves celebrities so much, I look for the first two to be Randy Jackson and Mariah Carey.
* Joe Biden canceled his annual beach party for reporters. He had no choice after some guy in Hong Kong leaked the menu.
* Surely the vice president of the United States has better things to do than throw a beach -- oh, wait, turns out he doesn't.