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This is Brad's afternoon edition. Click here for his morning jokes.
* A westbound lane of Dodge Street between 62nd and 64th Streets will be closed for two or three days for utility work, and repairs are under way on a section of 120th Street. Just as the CWS is about to begin. If the people who make these decisions were in retail, Walmart would begin renovations on Black Friday.
* Mayor Jean Stothert is driving a hybrid. Can't politicians take a position on anything these days?
* The police chief of Sutton, Neb., has been fined $750 in part for buying too much snack food. This is sort of the Watergate of Sutton, Neb.
* Sutton police used special "Twinkies-sniffing dogs" to follow the trail to the police chief's home.
* The so-called "NSA leaker," Edward Snowden, gave another interview on Wednesday. There's just something incongruous about about a guy in hiding who gives more interviews than a Kardashian.
* From now on, to save the government time, I'm just going to CC the State Department on all my emails.
* According to a new study, yawning is contagious. That explains why the "Guinness Book of World Records" rushed a representative to a multiplex showing "After Earth."
* “Wheel of Fortune” just crowned its second $1 million winner. Something is drastically wrong in this country when you can win a million dollars on "Wheel of Fortune" and some "Jeopardy" champs go home with $33.
* The Huskers' 2015 football schedule includes road trips to Miami, Fla., and Piscataway, N.J. Some fans will have to choose one of the two. I once faced a similar dilemma when I had to decide whether to visit the south of France or the Kearney Archway.
* Former NFL wide receiver Chad Johnson was sentenced to 30 days in jail after slapping his lawyer's butt in court. If the network would cover the appeal, I might watch HLN again.
* Cincinnati Bengals' defensive back Adam "Pacman" Jones has been arrested. At this point, this is sort of like the swallows returning to Capistrano.
* On "What Would Ryan Lochte Do?" Lochte and his girlfriend broke up over the phone. Because it's Ryan Lochte, I'm guessing it wasn't a smartphone.