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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* Someone in Decorah, Iowa, bought a winning $2-million lottery ticket. Should be easy to identify the winner -- likely the next person to move from Decorah, Iowa.
* A prized red panda named Rusty on loan from the Lincoln Children's Zoo to the National Zoo in Washington, D.C., escaped before being found in a nearby neighborhood. I remember the old days when we only had to worry about Washington losing the money we sent there...
* I'm guessing Rusty took one look at the sequester cuts in D.C., the IRS scandal and Congress, then said to himself: "That's it. I'm outta here," and tried to hightail it back to Nebraska.
* A neighbor of the zoo actually saw Rusty and tweeted his whereabouts. Washington was unable to find Rusty the Red Panda, so what hope is there of finding Edward Snowden?
* Sunday night, there was a two-hour TV special that provided an up-close look at an Omaha pothole -- wait, that was the Grand Canyon. Some guy walked across it. My mistake.
* The CWS championship series started Monday night. You could feel the electricity in the air at TD Ameritrade Park. I'm just glad someone in town had electricity.
* There was a lot of rain at TD Ameritrade Park Monday. The field was so wet, a UCLA runner stole second using the backstroke.
* After Monday's storm, OPPD dispatched 53 crews to restore power. You think that's something -- OPPD dispatched 54 crews to figure out a way to use the storm as an excuse to raise rates.
* A few days ago, NSA whistle-blower Edward Snowden turned 30. Thank goodness, unlike a lot of people who turn 30, he didn't go out and do something crazy.
* On Sunday, Snowden landed at the largest airport in Moscow: Potato International.
* The big concern is Snowden would reveal the biggest secret in Russia -- where the government stashes all the toilet paper.
* President Obama and the First Family are about to embark on a trip to three African nations that could cost up to $100 million. That's still cheaper than if they'd gone to Disney World.
* What a waste. That money could have gone to the IRS for a line-dancing weekend.
* A $100 million trip. By contrast, on their vacation, Vice President Joe Biden and his wife, Jill, are headed to a KOA outside Scranton.
* The U.S. Surgeon General, Regina Benjamin, is stepping down unexpectedly. She's known as 'the nation's doctor.' How crowded is that waiting room?
* I'm trying to confirm that, in the opening scene of "Man of Steel," Warren Buffett buys the Daily Planet newspaper.