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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* Temperatures reached the '90s in Omaha on Wednesday. It was so hot, people were standing between Mayor Jean Stothert and Fire Chief Mike McDonnell just for the icy stares and cold shoulders.
* Those of you who had "two weeks" in the office pool for how long it would take the relationship between the mayor and fire chief to fall apart -- congrats, you win.
* Stothert ordered the Fire Department not to make any purchases or any promotions without her approval. Today, after a small fire broke out, Stothert pulled up in her hybrid, grabbed a hose and told the firemen: "I've got this one. Go on home."
* Fireworks sales are under way in Omaha. There are 15 more stands than last year, which brings the grand total of fireworks stands in the city to one million and 15.
* By the Fourth of July, Omaha will be one big fountain.
* A new type of super-aggressive mosquito has invaded the U.S. If the mosquitoes in Omaha get any more aggressive, they'll pick up the tree limbs we've set by the curb and smash our windows with 'em.
* Several counties in Colorado are threatening to split apart and secede from the state. If you're searching for entertainment in Omaha this summer, there are fireworks shows, arts festivals, beer fests and the zoo ... or, best of all, you can stay home, turn on the TV and watch Coloradans argue.
* Several counties in northeastern Colorado want to secede and form the 51st state. What are they smoking? Wait, because it's Colorado, I know the answer.
* To prepare for President Obama's trip to Senegal, the streets were lined with hundreds of smiling photos of Obama. It looks like CNN headquarters.
* President Obama is on a trip to sub-Saharan Africa. Joe Biden is making the most of his opportunity in the White House. He knows if Hillary Clinton decides to run in 2016, this will be his only chance to sit behind the desk in the Oval Office.
* The acting IRS chief is going to be grilled by Congress on Thursday. They call him that because he has to act as if the IRS was as interested in targeting liberal groups as conservative ones.
* During his climate change speech on Tuesday President Obama said: "We don't have time for a meeting of the Flat Earth Society." Ironically, it was just revealed that the IRS targeted the Flat Earth Society.
* For those of you unfamiliar with the Flat Earth Society, picture a slightly more open-minded tea party.
* President Obama has to nominate a new surgeon general. As enamored as Obama is with celebrities, I'd look for Dr. Oz to get the nod.
* Walmart has ousted Paula Deen. I believe her "Fried Lard Crusted Shrimp Cakes" were sold in the healthy-eating aisle.
* A giant panda in China just gave birth. She's stuck for a name since Kim Kardashian took "North West."