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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* The Douglas County Board voted to raise property taxes rather than cut many departmental budgets by one percent. Sure, why should the various departments have to switch to a cheaper brand of copy paper when we can just ding homeowners again?
* The Douglas County Board approved a property tax increase after realizing we'd gone almost six weeks without one.
* It was extremely sticky in Omaha on Tuesday. Seeking to capitalize, late in the afternoon, the Douglas County Board of Commissioners introduced a new "humidity tax."
* Temperatures reached 101 degrees in Omaha on Tuesday. It was so hot, somebody walked into a movie theater showing "The Lone Ranger" just to cool off.
* It was so hot, I saw a mirage -- the mayor and fire chief smiling at one another.
* A new type of super-aggressive mosquito, the Asian tiger mosquito, has invaded the U.S. If the mosquitoes in Omaha get any more aggressive, they'll fly up our noses to bite our stomach lining.
* Big shake-up at the top of the Republican Party. Elisabeth Hasselbeck is leaving "The View" for "Fox and Friends."
* A man is accused of trying to blackmail Mitt Romney with some kind of dirt. After hearing this, the Obama Chicago campaign team said, "you mean we missed something?"
* President Obama mispronounced the last name of France's president, Francois Hollande. The French people maintain they absolutely will not let this affect how they feel about Americans. They still hate us.
* To keep this from happening again, aides are installing a pronunciation guide in Obama's teleprompter.
* Michelle Obama has joined Instagram. It'll be a full time job just posting a new photo to Mrs. Obama's account every time she changes her bangs.
* Edward Snowden has been offered asylum by Bolivia, Venezuela and Nicaragua. After being informed of this, Snowden's first reaction was to ask the WikiLeaks guy, "uh, you think we could try Saint-Tropez again?"
* Facebook finally has hashtags. #behindthetimesidiots.
* "The Lone Ranger" has been criticized for taking some creative liberties. For example, instead of horses, Lone Ranger and Tonto ride around on a two-seater bicycle.