“Grown Ups 2,” about a bunch of 40-something guys who still act like junior-high kids, is the perfect cover for the formula Adam Sandler has used in every broad, lowest of the low-brow comedy he's ever made.
Of course the humor is juvenile. These guys are supposed to be juvenile.
It took all of 30 seconds into the movie to get to the first urine joke. It would not be the last.
Sandler managed to last 15 minutes before the first fat joke, calling a kid “a beanbag with arms and legs.”
The first poop joke came 10 minutes later, the first joke about women with big breasts soon after, and the inevitable projectile vomiting and gay jokes followed as expected. Repeatedly.
“Grown Ups 2” follows buddies Lenny (Sandler), Eric (Kevin James), Kurt (Chris Rock) and Marcus (David Spade) through a single tortured day in their small hometown. It's the last day of school, and each family has its crosses to bear.
Lenny's son is too shy to ask out girls. Eric's kid can't do math. Kurt's wife forgot their 20th anniversary, and his daughter said yes to a date with a dweeb. Marcus just discovered he's the father of an 18-year-old thug who's come for a visit.
None of those bits turns out to be very funny.
The movie seems to exist as an excuse to cast all kinds of famous has-beens in comedic bits, and some of them are amazingly not funny.
Lenny, a coward, crosses paths with his childhood bully (professional wrestler “Stone Cold” Steve Austin). Eric dotes on his mother (Georgia Engel, “Mary Tyler Moore”). Basketball great Shaquille O'Neill plays a none-too-bright police officer. Comedian Norm Crosby works at K-Mart. Colin Quinn (“Saturday Night Live”) sells ice cream. Jon Lovitz (SNL) is a pervert janitor at a fitness center. Andy Samberg (SNL) is a male cheerleader.
Among a bunch of frat boys who give our heroes a hard time are Taylor Lautner (just as bad at comedy as he was at “Twilight” drama) and Patrick Schwarzenegger — son of you-know-who.
The movie just keeps on pitching, though the attempted joke has nothing to do with the plot or story. Anything (other than clever writing) to try to trip a laugh. So you get Sandler coaching his younger son at being a football kicker so he can fall on the kid and shatter his leg.
That ought to crack up the moms in the audience.
By the way, do they really have football practice anywhere on the day school lets out?
I got the biggest charge out of the inventive costumes at a 1980s-themed birthday bash, from Meat Loaf and Hall & Oates to Springsteen and Boy George.
I got the least charge out of a recurring joke in which two of the four leads demonstrated sneezing, burping and passing gas simultaneously (the burpsnart). I won't ruin the film by telling you which two.