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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* Mysterious radio signals have been detected in outer space. If the radio signals turn out to be from a U.S. call-in sports or political radio program, aliens will conclude there is no sign of intelligent life on Earth.
* The city of Lincoln just got a new 1,500-square-foot mural that illustrates the life and accomplishments of visionary scientist Nikola Tesla. With the budget problems in Omaha, we're getting a giant mural of dogs playing poker.
* In Wyoming, a fossil hunter discovered the remains of three rare Triceratops dinosaurs in a location where they were undisturbed by humans for centuries. I believe the remains were in the middle of the busiest intersection in Wyoming.
* It's now reported that Edward Snowden, holed up in a Moscow airport, has in his possession "literally thousands of pages of documents." It's unclear if that's classified NSA material or the latest Skymall magazine.
* Snowden remains "calm and tranquil." Great. The one person at an airport this summer who's calm and tranquil is Edward Snowden.
* Two years after his nomination, the U.S. Senate has confirmed Richard Cordray as Consumer Finance Protection Bureau director. The problem is, because it took two years, nobody remembers what the Consumer Finance Protection Bureau's director does.
* It took two years for the Senate to approve this guy. The Postal Service and cable companies told senators, "your largesse is inexcusable."
* Meanwhile, somebody leaves "The View," and within 48 hours, there's a new person sitting in her chair.
* Donald Trump has spent $1 million exploring a run for president in 2016. Imagine if Trump was elected president? The host of "Celebrity Apprentice"? He'd have to adjust from working with Gary Busey and La Toya Jackson to the less accomplished U.S. Congress.
* CNN media reporter Howard Kurtz is moving to Fox News. Let me explain how this works: It's sort of like moving from downtown Paris to the South Pole, only with a bigger change in culture.
* Journalists played the U.S. Congress in softball. It went pretty much like you'd expect: Congress made lots of errors, and CNN got the final score wrong.
* Montreal's interim mayor, who promised to crack down on corruption, is facing fraud charges. So while some say that the U.S. is moving toward a Canadian-style health care system, apparently Canada is adopting a U.S.-style political system.
* According to polls, Anthony Weiner leads New York City's mayoral race. Apparently voters are willing to overlook his baggage ... and lack of pants.
* Disgraced ex-N.Y. Gov. Eliot Spitzer, who resigned in a prostitution scandal, is running for New York City comptroller. His key support is expected to come from voters with short memories.
* Eliot Spitzer's opponent is a former madam who claims she arranged prostitutes for him. The only two political opponents in the United States able to find any common ground ... and that common ground is an escort service.
* A guy who supposedly patronized prostitutes is running against a former madam. Who says we lack choice in our political candidates?
* I saw an online article titled, "What Taylor Swift looks for in a boyfriend." I didn't read the article, but I'm guessing that would be a record deal and/or a pulse.