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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read Brad's morning jokes.
* I thought I was watching footage of Omaha's Lingerie Football League team practicing, but turns out it was an inside look at an Omaha fire station.
* I called to report a small fire. The 911 operator said, "They'll be there as soon as the belly dancer is finished."
* Welcome to Omaha, where the mayor calls for putting more police on the streets just to investigate the Fire Department.
* Dick Cheney made another reference to a weapon of mass destruction. He was talking about Anthony Weiner's cellphone.
* I think the Anthony Weiner and Eliot Spitzer campaigns are incredibly embarrassing for New York. And I live in a city where half-naked women dance on fire trucks.
* Snoop Lion and Larry King have recorded a new rap together. Pretty much the only way I'd go to Thursday night's "Weird Al" Yankovic concert is if this was the opening act.
* Millard South's Harrison Phillips will attend Stanford. The biggest adjustment will be going from a school with a cool nickname like "Wildcats" to one whose mascot is a tree.
* Dallas Cowboys offensive tackle Phil Costa proposed to Brooke Hogan, Hulk's daughter. Between being a member of the Cowboys and also part of the Hogan family, Costa will be part of two of the three most dysfunctional circuses in the world.
* Denver Broncos wide receiver Eric Decker has married Jessie James, a country singer. An NFL wide receiver and a country singer. We can likely look forward to drama for years to come.
* The National Association of Bail Bondsmen issued a statement thanking NFL players for the thousands of new jobs it created for members.
* Mark Cuban is paying Southern Methodist University $100,000 for a study on NBA flopping. Instead, SMU used the money to study why some billionaires still wear T-shirts and bangs.
* Big Ten media days have started in Chicago. Urban Meyer has already turned in three other coaches for not tipping the hotel maid.