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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* On Aug. 17, blues master B.B. King will be playing Stir Cove. I wonder if he’ll dedicate "The Thrill is Gone" to the new Jean Stothert administration?
* On "Live With Kelly and Michael," Matt Damon raved about the Huskers and UNL. He’s become an excellent ambassador for the program. Is there any way we can arrange for Damon to be interviewed by sideline reporters at halftime instead of Bo Pelini?
* Damon said he enjoyed UNL so much, he wishes he could go back to college. Hey, this could be sort of like that Tommy Lee reality show, only with a good celebrity.
* A couple in Fort Worth, Texas, returned to their lake house to find that the county had demolished it by mistake. If this happened in Douglas County, officials would likely offer you five percent off your property taxes.
* The summer vacation breaks of Omaha-area school children are getting shorter. Obviously this is an attempt to compensate for the 80 snow days per year.
* OPS summer vacation this year is 12 days shorter than in 2012. That’s detracting from the summer time kids spend perfecting their video game scores ... I mean, participating in the summer reading program.
* Detroit’s bankruptcy is already leading to cutbacks. For example, this year’s Detroit Auto Show is nothing but Hyundais.
* San Diego Mayor Bob Filner announced he is going to check into a facility for sex therapy. Mr. Filner, that facility is called "the House of Representatives," and you don’t just "check in" -- you have to be elected.
* The approval rating of the U.S. Congress continues to drop. In the polls, Congress is now tied with the Florida "skunk/ape."
* The approval ratings of President Obama and the U.S. Congress both continue to drop. When experts encouraged the president and Congress to find some common ground, I’m not sure this is what they had in mind.
* Twelve percent of Americans currently approve of Congress. If that approval rating falls any more, Congress is officially labeled as a major airline.
* At the end of this week, members of the U.S. Congress begin a monthlong recess. With all the sequester cuts, I say we make 'em go out and get summer jobs.
* A Sumatran rhino was flown from California to the zoo in Cincinnati to mate with its own sibling. Then, both were invited on the "Jerry Springer Show."
* "Pawn Stars" star Rick Harrison was married. It was actually pretty annoying at the reception when he opened each wedding gift and announced what the wedding guest paid and its true value.
* In Paulden, Ariz., neighbors are outraged that some guy put up a "9-foot, anatomically-correct, naked gargoyle statue." Next time you’re upset about the pink flamingo in your neighbor’s yard, just be grateful you don’t live to this thing.
* This thing is so bad, it looks like something Council Bluffs would hoist over an overpass.