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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* As of Tuesday morning, the Nebraska Legislature's Twitter account had 3,700 followers and is following a total of zero others. So much for that legislative line: "We want to hear what the people have to say."
* You almost have to admire a legislative body so disinterested in feedback it follows zero constituents.
* A major renovation is under way at the Westroads Mall, with the work taking place at night when there are no customers present. It will be the same at Crossroads, with renovations taking place when there aren't any customers: 9 to 5, Monday through Saturday.
* Nebraska tanning parlors may qualify for a sales tax break. The one entity that gets a tax break in this state, and it's tanning parlors. While we're at it, can we give tobacco companies a tax break to make smoking more appealing?
* Omaha Mayor Jean Stothert is the proud owner of a "Baby Glock" pistol. I'm waiting for her proposal to turn all the fire stations into shooting ranges.
* Welcome to Omaha, where the mayor's re-election slogan is expected to be "pull!"
* You combine Stothert packing with the toughness Deb Fischer has shown in the Senate, and it feels like Nebraska's Republican leaders are Thelma and Louise.
* The Maha Music Festival featured lots of dancing and hula-hooping. So, it was pretty much like any Omaha City Council meeting.
* On Monday, Amazon.com was down for about 15 minutes. The situation was so bad, one American nearly walked into a bookstore, but then thought better of it.
* The Obama family has a new puppy -- a second Portuguese Water Dog named Sunny. In a sign of political acrimony, Republicans released an official statement calling Sunny "a dumb name."
* Now, this is all preliminary. President Obama nominated the dog, but Congress will likely vote her down.
* On the final day of his vacation, President Obama golfed with Larry David, co-creator of "Seinfeld." In order to accommodate Obama's love of celebrities, instead of a foursome, it was a 58-some.
* Obama is so enamored with celebrities, that in order to get a one-on-one meeting with the president, Vladimir Putin is trying to get on "Celebrity Apprentice" or "So You Think You Can Dance."
* A scary situation on Monday turned out OK. Dick Van Dyke had to be pulled from his burning car on a Los Angeles freeway. Van Dyke wasn't injured until he walked in his front door and tripped on the footstool.
* According to a new study, dolphins can imitate humans. All the more reason to make sure dolphins never see the "Jerry Springer Show."
* Let's see -- dolphins talk a lot and don't seem to work. I think they've been imitating the U.S. Congress for years.
* In Houston, a car was towed from a no parking zone with the kids still inside. This is traditionally the time of summer vacation where moms see their kids being towed away and go: "Take 'em. I'll pick them up for the first day of school."
* Newark, N.J., was voted the world's "Least Friendly City," edging out Islamabad. USA! USA! USA!