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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning jokes.
* It's extremely hot in Omaha. Not to worry -- this winter is expected to be extremely cold, so it all evens out.
* It should be very hot at the Husker game Saturday evening. The 6,000 fans sitting atop the East Stadium addition at Memorial Stadium will get to experience what it's like to live on the surface of the sun.
* Fast-food workers in at least 60 cities are on strike. Not to worry, the federal government arranged for Air Force jets to fly over the U.S. to drop Big Macs and Whoppers with cheese to a hungry populace.
* Bill Clinton is scheduled to deliver a speech in defense of Obamacare next week. After this, the speech he gave Hillary after the Monica Lewinsky story broke will be the second most difficult talk of Clinton's career.
* Clinton believes so strongly in Obamacare, he's only charging the administration half-a-million dollars to deliver the speech.
* In music news, Miley Cyrus is teaming up with Justin Bieber and Kanye West on separate duets. This could basically mean the end of life as we know it.
* The Air Guitar World Championships just ended in Finland. After the MTV Video Music Awards, it was just nice to see some better musicianship.
* The Parents Television Council blasted the VMA performances of Miley Cyrus and Lady Gaga. If you saw Gaga’s performance at the top of the show but missed Miley’s, Miley was eerily similar to Gaga, only without the talent, charisma, singing ability, dance moves or stage presence.
* A man paid $27 million for a rare Ferrari at an auction. It’s believed this man is suffering from the largest mid-life crisis ever seen in one human being.
* The U.S. Postmaster General has proposed that the Postal Service be allowed to deliver beer, wine and spirits. The Post Office is so desperate to stay open, now they’re sucking up to Democrats.
* The NCAA ordered that Johnny Manziel sit out the first half vs. Rice. He’s now answering to his new nickname: "Johnny Wrist Slap."
* Meanwhile, the player who returned a library book two days late must sit out the entire Rice game.
* The Wisconsin Duck and Goose Calling Championships wrapped earlier this month. Actually, in a sign of the times, instead of calling, all the ducks and geese were texted.