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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* The Labor Day Telethon has ended. This year, the goal was to raise as much money as an Omaha city worker receives in a pension.
* On Labor Day, more than 1,000 workers marched in a parade in downtown Omaha. Normally when you see 1,000 people walking downtown, it's because their cars have been towed.
* Mayor Jean Stothert and Fire Chief Mike McDonnell were unable to reach an exit agreement after McDonnell supposedly added language to the deal. Being somewhat familiar with the relationship between the mayor and fire chief, I'm guessing that language was, "Stothert can kiss my ..."
* At this point, the relationship between Omaha's mayor and departing fire chief is basically the political version of "The War of the Roses."
* “[McDonnell] is on administrative leave with pay,” according to assistant city attorney Bernard in den Bosch, who, in light of Mayor Stothert's deep cuts, in the future, will be known merely as "Bernie B."
* Omaha ranks eighth in the nation for billionaires per capita. With the taxes around here, I'm guessing we also place highly in the “millionaires-who-used-to-be-billionaires” category.
* The World-Herald's food critic and a panel of experts rated the best bloody mary in Omaha after sampling a number. Have they taken that Best Jobs in America survey yet this year?
* U.S. District Judge Warren Urbom will retire in April after 44 years in the post. He's spent almost as much time on the bench as Matt Leinart.
* Long-distance swimmer Diana Nyad swam from Cuba to the U.S. Sure, that's easier than flying over Labor Day weekend.
* Diana Nyad, 64, became the first person to swim from Cuba to Florida without a shark cage. She hadn't planned to, but all the shark cages were in use by sports reporters who had to interview Bo Pelini after the Huskers disappointing performance against Wyoming.
* This is when you know Florida is a retirement mecca -- 64-year-olds are swimming 103 miles to get there.
* Next, Nyad will represent the U.S. in America's Cup.
* Diana Nyad is 64. I hope now she can serve as an inspiration to all the other 64-year-olds hoping to swim from Cuba to the U.S.
* Veteran broadcaster David Frost has died at 74. Frost was best known for a series of interviews with Richard Nixon. Young Americans may not know this, but there was once a time when the biggest "get" in the news business was not a sit-down with Kanye West.
* President Obama said he'll wait for Congress to vote on how to proceed in Syria. That explains the new plaque on Obama's desk: "The buck stops there," with a finger pointing to the House.
* President Obama has said he thinks law school should two years instead of three. That's ridiculous. It's during the third year of law school that future lawyers take the crucial “Overbilling for Xeroxing” class.
* In the past month, three Miami-Dade County city mayors were arrested and accused of corruption. Who do they think they are -- Chicago mayors?