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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* Millard Public School students have been told that skimpy attire is not acceptable at football games. Apparently, there was a lot of skimpy attire. It looked like Millard spent all its money on practice fields and couldn't afford clothes.
* Some kids were showing up in sports bras. If you want to dress like that at a football game, you have to wait until you're older and can try out to be an NFL cheerleader.
* The Miss America Pageant airs Sunday night. All the competitors wear a costume that represents their state. To combine the eastern and western parts of our great state, Miss Nebraska will be twirling a lasso while dressed as a pothole.
* You're familiar with Miss America. It's the scholarship pageant where contestants dress like Miley Cyrus at the Video Music Awards.
* The Miss America Pageant is Sunday. After the VMAs, it'll just be nice to see some people on stage who have a talent.
* A message to all Miss America contestants: Twerking is not considered a talent.
* Today is Friday the 13th. Fear of Friday the 13th is called paraskavedekatriaphobia. I don't have that. What I have is fear of misspelling paraskavedekatriaphobia.
* An Omaha man -- a private citizen -- has taken it upon himself to go around town repairing potholes. I plan to learn this man's name and write it in during the gubernatorial election.
* The Street of Dreams begins this weekend in Omaha. It's called that because you're dreaming if you think you can afford any of these homes.
* Most of the homes are in Omaha. A few are outside the city limits ... for future MECA Board members.
* George Strait will perform at the CenturyLink Center and Jay Z the Pinnacle Bank Arena. I don't know about you, but I am sick of these nearly identical, interchangeable acts at CenturyLink and the Pinnacle Bank.
* Twitter has filed for an IPO. Regular Twitter users responded: “IPO? I pee often? No, wait -- I'm perturbed only? Or is it...”
* How about all that taunting and the in-your-face trash talk? Of course I'm referencing Vladimir Putin's New York Times op-ed.
* Michelle Obama launched a campaign Thursday urging Americans to drink more water. Congressional Republicans fell into a stunned silence, completely thrown that, for the first time in 5 years, the administration had proposed something they could not disagree with.
* A man in a Barack Obama mask tried to rob a bank in New Hampshire. Tellers knew it wasn't the actual Obama because he doesn't have an economic plan that good.
* President Obama is really getting tough on Syria. Unless things improve, he's going to send Chris Berman over there to call a sporting event.