Dickson’s Week in Review, Oct. 6-12 - Omaha.com
Published Saturday, October 12, 2013 at 6:03 pm / Updated at 6:15 pm
HUMOR
Dickson’s Week in Review, Oct. 6-12

Nebraska was dominant. Now, if you didn’t catch the BTN crew mention it 4,879 times, Purdue has a young team.

Purdue does have a very young team. At least two players were in diapers when Ron Kellogg began his collegiate career.

The Purdue band boasts “the world’s largest bass drum.” One analyst said, “Everybody loves the world’s largest bass drum.” Yeah? Try the people who live in the downstairs apartment from the kid who plays it.

At halftime, the Cornhusker marching band major threw the baton 50 feet in the air and caught it with one hand. Then he ripped off his head-dress — it was Kenny Bell.

There’s controversy about Condoleezza Rice possibly sitting on the college football playoff committee. Knowledge of college football is criterion No. 1. I’m gonna throw out another name for the committee that’s bound to be controversial — Larry The Cable Guy. Just sayin’.

“Fake USC representatives” have contacted two coaches about the school’s coaching vacancy. It gets worse. One of the fake representatives is dating Manti Te’o.

On Sunday, the Denver Broncos are favored over the Jacksonville Jaguars by 27 points, the largest spread in NFL history. Jacksonville players would have better odds of winning something if they stay home and bought Powerball lottery tickets.

The Oakland Raiders did years of research before selecting their new mascot. This may be the only organization that does years of research to find a mascot, yet when deciding which player to draft in round one just pulls a name from a hat.

The Chicago Bulls’ Derrick Rose said he’d run over his own mother on the court to win a game. Bad news for the Charlotte Bobcats, who recently signed Rose’s mom to a five-year deal.

After making a play in the Miami Heat exhibition game, Michael Beasley celebrated by hitting himself in the head so hard he required medical treatment. Worse, the ref called a flagrant foul on Beasley and awarded Beasley two free throws.

In the WNBA Finals, someone beat someone by between 10 to 15 points.

John Daly hit a golf ball out of some guy’s mouth in a Nashville pizza joint parking lot. Sounds like a new Champions Tour event.

There was a streaker at the Presidents Cup. Cops were going to bust her for indecent exposure, but then realized that’d mean they’d also have to arrest 80 golfers in plaid pants, striped shirts and white shoes.

And finally: NU volleyball player Cecilia Hall can walk across the court on her hands. This sounds better than 98 percent of the halftime shows I’ve seen at Husker men’s basketball games.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson

brad.dickson@owh.com    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

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