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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read Brad's morning jokes.
* A lane of northbound 120th Street in Omaha is closed due to "fiber optic cable" work. What if there are no fiber optic cables under our roads, and it's all just a plot to inconvenience Omaha drivers even more?
* On "Dancing with the Stars" on Monday, nobody was voted off due to technical difficulties with the wrong phone numbers posted. Someone needs to apologize to the poor family in Lexington, Ky., that fielded 702,000 calls for Bill Engvall to be ousted.
* Americans are outraged over technical glitches regarding "Dancing with the Stars" voting. We're actually taking the Obamacare website glitches better than this.
* According to the Tuesday jobs report, employers added 148,000 new jobs in September. Most of those were for people to man the hotline to report problems with Obamacare.
* Regarding the Affordable Care Act website's glitches, President Obama said: "Nobody's madder than me." Tell that to the guy who just missed an entire weekend of football while trying to sign up.
* During President Obama's remarks Monday at the Rose Garden, a young woman behind him nearly fainted. I believe this happened right after Obama mentioned congressional Democrats and Republicans agreed on something.
* The Nobel Prize in Literature was recently awarded. In a sign of the times, it went to the author of “Auto Repair for Dummies.”
* The Nobel Prize in Literature was going to be awarded in a bookstore, but the committee couldn't find one that was still open.
* Scientists at Cal Tech have identified the smallest number ever: Josh Freeman's passer efficiency rating on Monday Night Football.
* The College Football Playoff selection committee seems to be comprised of a group of rational, experienced and astute folks. Any way we can arrange for them to debate the next potential government shutdown in January instead of Congress?
* New York Islanders captain John Tavares pulled out his own tooth on the team bench. The GOP is claiming that this is an example of what we can expect under the Obamacare Dental Plan.
* Wonder Bread has returned to store shelves. That means Wheaties has some competition. It's no longer the only product that Olympic athletes fraudulently claim won them their gold medals.
* Tennessee Titans safety Bernard Pollard said: “I ain't no thug.” Chances are also good that he's not an English major.
* The Dallas Cowboys are holding a lottery to find a fan to spend draft day with owner Jerry Jones in Jones' private box. Second place gets one of Jerry's old noses.
* A professional soccer team will be called the Las Vegas Mobsters. You thought the name Redskins was controversial. Here's a group you really don't want to offend.