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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* The Nebraska DMV has launched a new license plate renewal notification process. Due to fiscal concerns, now they toss a rock with a note through your window.
* A marketing expert says that to increase Nebraska tourism, the state should tap into social media. I like my idea better: Build a giant dome over the state to keep out the snow.
* There's a 100 percent chance of rain in Omaha today. So, I'm expecting partly cloudy skies.
* You look at the Boston Red Sox winning the World Series and Jordan Westerkamp's amazing catch. Kids looking to improve athletic performance: I'd consider skipping the Wheaties and going with the facial hair.
* An alligator was discovered slithering through O'Hare Airport in Chicago. After it was determined the alligator wasn't toting nail clippers or an oversize bottle of Prell, it was allowed to board a flight.
* You've seen that TV commercial where the man sternly demands to know the name of the woman's first pet, which is her password? It turns out this same guy developed the Obamacare website.
* In the Wyoming Senate race, Liz Cheney is running against an “old fishing buddy” of her father's. A little different. When fishing, Dick Cheney didn't need a rod and reel -- he used unmanned drones.
* The historic letters of President William Howard Taft will be available for viewing. Americans, of course, would much rather read the assembled texts of Kylie Jenner.
* Voters in 11 rural Colorado counties go to the polls to decide if they want to secede and form a 51st state. Instead of a 51st state, I think we should be focusing our efforts on getting rid of Florida.
* Colorado residents are also voting whether to impose a tax on marijuana. If you ever doubted that Coloradans are “different,” here are two examples of why you can stop doubting.
* President Obama met with Bill Clinton to discuss Obamacare. Is Bill Clinton the best person to help you get a health-care bill through Congress? It's like asking Miley Cyrus for dancing lessons.
* There are legitimate privacy concerns about the Affordable Care Act website. After enrolling, when you hit “send,” all the info goes directly to NSA headquarters.
* Sen. John McCain has threatened to block Obama's nominee to head the Federal Reserve. Now, even the friendly Republicans are giving Obama a hard time.
* A new, over-the-counter pill supposedly can erase memories. This means after we vote out all the incumbents, we can simply pop a pill and forget that the current Congress ever existed.
* A pill to erase memories is now available. Something tells me at the end of the season, this thing will be very popular with Jacksonville Jaguars fans.
* I know a certain Northwestern University football coach who may be in the market, too.