Dear Annie: I am madly in love with my ex-fiancee. We have been separated since March but have been talking about getting back together and starting a family.
The problem is, while we were separated, I slept with another woman. It happened at a weak point in my life, and I don't plan to do it again. Now, the other woman says she is pregnant. I have asked for proof, but she hasn't provided any. We did use a condom, but it broke.
Should I tell my almost-fiancee or wait until I have physical proof? I know if I tell her, she will be immensely hurt and may never want to see me again. I don't want to lose the love of my life and my best friend over this. Please help me.
-- On a Break
Dear Break: It is always a bad idea to begin a relationship with dishonesty. Word is likely to get back to your fiancee, so you must tell her first. Don't make excuses for your behavior. Take responsibility, tell her you are deeply sorry, and ask for forgiveness. Say that you understand she is disappointed and hurt, and that you will give her as much time as she needs to think about your future together. We hope she decides to give you another chance, and that you will be worthy of her trust.
Dear Annie: I have been disabled for several years. I have a hip problem and arthritis in both legs, so I need to use the handicapped toilet stall because of its higher seat and room for mobility. I use a cane to get around, so it's obvious I have a hard time walking. There are times when I need a wheelchair.
You would think that Jill Q. Public would be courteous, and in most cases, they are. However, I have encountered women who let children play in the handicapped stall for a half-hour and, once, a young woman who specifically wanted that stall even though there were others available. I even have been shoved aside because of the race to get in. Just because I move slower doesn't mean my need isn't as urgent.
Please, ladies, life is challenging enough without this kind of rudeness. Consider how you would want to be treated if you were in my shoes.
-- Vermont Reader
Dear Vermont: We cannot understand how anyone would deny the use of a handicapped stall to someone who requires it.
Please don't be reluctant to speak up if someone grabs that stall while you are waiting. Here's the rule: The handicapped stall may be used by an able-bodied person provided no one needs it, no other stall is available and you will be quick. When you can wait for a regular stall, please do so.
Dear Annie: I have a response for “Waiting for Your Answer,” who complained that every time he went to the bank, the greeter at the door and the tellers made small talk with the customers. He said it took up too much time. Apparently, he's never worked with the public.
I work in a bank. My employers have told us to be friendly to the customers. If it's a regular customer, we might ask about the family or their job. To me, that is simply personalized service. I prefer to do business where someone will acknowledge me rather than ignore me.
If “Waiting” doesn't want to be spoken to, he has three options: One, ignore their friendly questions. Two, complain to the person in charge. Three, take his business elsewhere, where they move people through like robots on a conveyer belt.
“Waiting” needs to learn to stop and smell the roses — or start earlier.
-- Glad to Be a Friendly Customer Service Rep
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