Breaking Brad: Stella Artois coming to Atlanta Braves concession stands -
Published Tuesday, December 3, 2013 at 12:01 am / Updated at 12:11 pm
Breaking Brad: Stella Artois coming to Atlanta Braves concession stands

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning jokes.

* The FAA is developing a plan for drones to fly across the U.S. without delays and significant problems. Hey, if this works out maybe the FAA can come up with some kind of plan for commercial airlines to fly without significant problems.

* Vice President Joe Biden is leaving on a trip to China. Sure, if you think there's a chance you're going to be the next president of the United States, first thing you want to do is get in good with our owners.

* Biden is leaving on a trip to deal with China, and President Obama is embarking on a three-week campaign to sell Americans on Obamacare. Of the two, I think the president has the tougher task.

* On CNN, reporter Chris Cuomo interviewed his brother, New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo. You know it's a softball interview when half the questions begin: "Hey, remember the time that Mom ..."

* The most popular name for baby boys in 2013? Jackson. The most popular name for baby girls? Sophia. If you don't know a single Jackson or Sophia, there's an excellent chance you're over 40.

* On "60 Minutes" Sunday night, Jeff Bezos revealed that Amazon is working on a plan to deliver items via drones. Isn't Thanksgiving air travel slow enough without being stuck on the tarmac so a drone carrying Chia cats can take off?

* Members of the tea party have decided on a Christmas goal: deporting every single elf back to the North Pole.

* Scientists have discovered what killed King Tut in 1323 BC. Apparently, King Tut was run over by a chariot. HLN announced that if there's a trial, it will provide “gavel to gavel coverage.”

* Scientists have discovered what killed King Tut. An American public used to watching “CSI” said: “I can't believe they didn't discover this in 60 minutes, minus commercial interruptions.”

* During the Seahawks-Saints Monday Night game, Seahawks fans got so excited after a touchdown run that they caused a minor earthquake. That's when you know you have a home-field advantage – the fans cause an earthquake.

* The coach can never criticize fans for not being loud enough.

* I'm just surprised that after the guy returned the missed field goal 109 yards to beat Alabama, Auburn fans didn't cause a tsunami.

* On Saturday, college football featured multiperson brawls or near brawls in both the Ohio State-Michigan and the Georgia-Georgia Tech games. If I wanted to see that I'd have gone to Walmart.

* The governor of Ohio issued a proclamation banning use of the letter “M” on the day Ohio State played Michigan. I'm just glad that rivalry hasn't degenerated into silly antics.

* The governor of Ohio banned the letter “M.” Ohio State players were getting permanent tattoos read “Beat ichigan.”

* Former Pittsburgh Steeler star Hines Ward competed in a triathlon. Ward actually won the event after clothes-lining the 300 competitors who were faster than him.

* The Atlanta Braves are moving to wealthy Cobb County. Out is the Tomahawk Chop. In: the polo mallet swing.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

Attorney: Man accused of trying to open plane's door needs psychiatric evaluation
49-year-old sentenced to 40-50 years for attempted sex assault of child
Brothers looking for pot sentenced for violent home invasion
At Boys Town panel, experts stress it's never too early to educate children
Kelly: New $24M UNO center embodies spirit of newlywed crash victim
Gov. Heineman calls 2014 a 'very good year for Nebraska taxpayers'
Ex-Iowan behind landmark free speech case recounts story in Bellevue
Arrest made in teen's shooting death at Benson's Gallagher Park
Section of 50th Street to close for bridge demolition
Nikko Jenkins found guilty of 4 murders
Rather than doing $250K in repairs, owner who lives in lot behind 94-year-old house in Dundee razes it
Plans for new $16M YMCA in Council Bluffs at 'critical juncture'
Woodmen request would take nearly $40M in valuation from tax rolls
With fixed AC, Fort Calhoun's nuclear station ends brief shutdown
Windy day could make driving difficult on east-west roads
Richard Brown steps down as Charles Drew Health Center CEO
High school slam poets don't just recite verses, 'they leave their hearts beating on the stage'
OPD safety expo set for April 26
Database: How much did Medicare pay your doctor?
Crew working to disassemble International Nutrition plant
New public employee pay data: Douglas, Lancaster, Sarpy Counties, plus utilities
18-year-old arrested in stolen-car case
U.S. Senate candidate Bart McLeay trails his 3 GOP rivals in fundraising
86-year-old Holdrege man killed in weekend collision
New police gang intervention specialist knows firsthand about getting involved with wrong crowd
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Kelly: New $24M UNO center embodies spirit of newlywed crash victim
Jessica Lutton Bedient was killed by a drunken driver at age 26 in 2010. Thursday, the widowed husband and other family members will gather with others at the University of Nebraska at Omaha to dedicate a permanent memorial to Jessica.
Breaking Brad: How much would you pay for a corn dog?
The Arizona Diamondbacks have a new concession item: a $25 corn dog. For that kind of money, it should be stuffed with Bitcoin.
Breaking Brad: Pothole repair crew gets stuck in a pothole
In East Lansing, Mich., a pothole repair crew got stuck inside a pothole. How did this not happen in Omaha?
Breaking Brad: What do the moon, Colorado senators have in common?
How about that "blood red" moon Monday? It was as red as the eyes of a Colorado legislator.
Breaking Brad: Hey, Republicans, are you ready to be audited?
A quick list of audit red flags: 3) You fail to sign your return. 2) You fail to report income. 1) You are a registered Republican.
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