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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* NU President J.B. Milliken is moving into a $750K home, courtesy of the University of Nebraska Foundation. In Lincoln, what do you get for $750K? About 40,000 square feet and 17 bedrooms?
* Milliken's new home is 7,000 square feet. I don't think the Lincoln Airport is 7,000 square feet.
* You know the big difference between NU's president and the Queen of England? NU's president lives in a nicer house.
* Bo Pelini's birthday is tomorrow. Hasn't this year been difficult enough without Pelini's birthday falling on Friday the 13th?
* "These birthday gifts are chicken—."
* I read in The World-Herald that a "little-known political party" without a single candidate to back is calling it quits in Nebraska. The Democrats?
* Gov. Heineman has now appointed a retired colonel from Bellevue to the vacant Nebraska Legislature seat. With the normal Heineman vetting policy, let's hope he's not from the Salvation Army.
* I think there's a rulebook somewhere that stipulates if a nominee for an office goes awry, go with the retired colonel.
* Omaha just got its second Dunkin' Donuts, which will open at 5 a.m. every day. Why so late?
* Democrats and Republicans in Washington, D.C., set aside their party differences and agreed on a budget deal. So, in addition to it being cold across the nation, hell just completely froze over.
* Michelle Obama unveiled the official White House Christmas theme: "Gather Around: Stories of the Season." That narrowly edged out the second choice: "Divert the public's attention from Obamacare with shiny ornaments."
* Miley Cyrus was one of 10 finalists for Time magazine's "Person of the Year," alongside President Obama, Syria's president and Pope Francis. Is the BCS now handling the voting?
* Cyrus, Pope Francis, Obama and the president of Syria. This is like an SAT question: "Which of the following does not fit?"
* Washington's National Zoo has named its giant panda, born in late August. It took three months to come up with a name. Considering it's Washington, D.C., that sounds about right.
* When it takes three months to name a panda, what hope is there for a speedy fix to Obamacare?
* The panda was named Bao Bao. Bao Bao is philosophical, saying "at least that's better than North West Kardashian."