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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read Brad's morning jokes.
* The Greater Omaha Chamber of Commerce has sent a video love note to Peyton Manning. OK, now this is verging on stalking.
* I know we have same-sex marriage; I'm just glad it's not yet legal for a chamber of commerce to marry a quarterback.
* I really wish the Omaha media would've mentioned Peyton Manning shouting "Omaha!" #Sarcasm
* Michelle Obama turns 50 on Friday. Or, as that's called in Democratic circles, "half a Harry Reid."
* President Obama planned to take his wife out for a romantic, $5,000-per-plate dinner.
* President Obama delivered a speech on the NSA on Friday. He had to stop halfway through to eavesdrop on the president of Estonia, whose toaster we've bugged.
* The $1.1 trillion spending bill Congress passed is 1,582 pages long. I haven't seen anything that length since The World-Herald's college football preview section.
* A Delta flight attendant was found to be drunk before takeoff from a Kentucky airport. What a choice we have: We can fly the airline with the drunk crew or the one that lands at the wrong airport.
* While searching Justin Bieber's home, police seized his cellphone. For a 19-year-old, this is worse than jail.
* Members of Gov. Chris Christie's staff allegedly caused traffic delays by authorizing unnecessary roadwork. We're familiar with that in Omaha, which is, of course, the "unnecessary roadwork capital of North America."
* A bear was spotted running across a popular ski slope in Nevada. Hey, I think I just thought of a way to make the Winter Olympics luge event watchable.
* The wonderful actor Russell Johnson, who played the professor on "Gilligan's Island," has died at 89. Now, he'll take the secret of how those people brought enough luggage to last 15 years on a three-hour cruise to his grave.
* Pamela Anderson has remarried Rick Salomon. Their 2007 marriage was annulled after several weeks. And even these two are saying, "I can't believe Louisville rehired Bobby Petrino."
* The Huskers have hired their fourth defensive backs coach in five years. At what point do you call Kelly and go with a temp?
* Jared Afalava will not return to the Huskers next season and Avery Moss's status remains up in the air. To those who thought you could stop worrying about Husker football because it's mid-January, guess again.
* In their loss to Oklahoma City, the Houston Rockets scored 73 points in the first half and 19 in the second half. Houston Rockets, meet the Kansas City Chiefs; Kansas City Chiefs, the Houston Rockets.
* How bad was that coach's halftime pep talk?