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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* Freezing cold weather increases the likelihood of water main breaks. I'm pretty sure this means Omaha will soon resemble Venice, Italy.
* Orange traffic cones will be bobbing down our roads.
* The brain drain has returned to Nebraska; our smartest college grads are leaving the state. You mean a lottery for a chance to hunt a mountain lion wasn't enough to keep 'em around?
* Seahawks DB Richard Sherman was fined $7,875 for taunting after the NFC Championship game. That's it? At UNO, you get fined that much for parking in the wrong spot.
* President Obama will deliver his State of the Union address on Tuesday. It's tradition for this to happen right after the Grammy Awards. Compared to the acceptance speeches, any president is bound to sound pretty smart.
* The president's popularity has fallen enough that there are plans to use an "applause" sign.
* The Obamas gave serious thought to replacing the State of the Union with another dance party, but ruled it out.
* President Obama has been criticized for being too closely linked to the entertainment world. There may be something to that. Midway through the State of the Union, he plans to present an award to Daft Punk.
* In the gallery, Michelle Obama will be seated between the only two people in American to successfully sign up for Obamacare online.
* The mayor of Fort Lee, N.J., is expected to attend the State of the Union. He'll be the guy walking in halfway through after getting stuck in traffic.
* There is a new ad campaign touting Obamacare success stories. My advice for those who want to see these: don't blink.
* Google is developing a "smart contact lens." Now, online search engines have better health-care plans than the federal government.
* Sen. Rand Paul has joined Snapchat. A few hints someone may be gearing up to run for president: He occasionally speaks a few words in Spanish, attends an Iowa barbecue, and he's 51 and on Snapchat.
* Snapchat photos disappear after several seconds. Anthony Weiner is the politician who should have joined Snapshot.
* Vladimir Putin announced that Edward Snowden will be allowed to attend the Winter Olympics. How awkward will that be? Before figure-skating judges reveal their scores, Snowden does.
* The two-man luge will turn into a three-man luge when Snowden pops his head up with a recording device.
* An 80-year-old man in Iran lives outdoors, smokes "animal poop" and claims he hasn't bathed in 60 years. Hey, I think we just found the next "Bachelor."
* I'm going out on a limb and guess that he's single.