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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read Brad's morning jokes.
* Adidas is sticking with Justin Bieber as an endorser. How bad does Lance Armstrong feel now?
* In Milwaukee, a Stradivarius violin worth $8 million that was stolen has been recovered. The Milwaukee police dept. made solving this case its second highest priority right after finding the missing beer truck.
* Someone in Milwaukee stole a Stradivarius violin worth millions. A disinterested American public yawned and said “Let us know if anyone takes Selena Gomez’ microphone.”
* All the Super Bowl commercials were ranked best to worst. It’s nice to see we’ve already found something for the BCS committee to do.
* The new “Star Wars” movie takes place so far into the future, Wichita State has lost a game.
* I believe the Globetrotters have lost more recently than Wichita State.
* Vladimir Putin will allow Edward Snowden to attend the Winter Olympics. I understand Snowden is planning to issue proof that nobody really knows what a “salchow” is and that it’s just a made up word.
* Because the Winter Olympics is in Russia, instead of a gold medal local organizers will present winners with something more valuable - a potato and a roll of toilet paper.
* The Phoenix Coyotes are being renamed the Arizona Coyotes. Hey, whatever it takes. It can’t be easy selling a sport played on ice to a populace where 102 degrees is considered a cooling trend.
* At a sanctuary in England penguins are being given anti-depressants to help them cope with the dreary winter weather. This is when you know it's been a rough winter - Arctic penguins can't cope.
* Maybe if there are any leftover antidepressants they can be air-dropped over Omaha.
* I saw a guy complete a triple axle, a reverse figure eight and a salchow. And that was an Omaha commuter driving to work in the snow last week.
* NBC's editing of the Winter Olympics opening ceremony caused a firestorm on Twitter. Now to be fair, it's rare that 11 seconds passes without a new firestorm on Twitter.
* Video of a U.S. bobsledder kicking down the door of the bathroom he got locked in has gone viral. Remember when we used to hear inspirational tales of Olympic athletes escaping from Communist regimes?
* Bad news for Pete Ricketts — Jon Bruning is still in the race for governor.
* Competitors in the Westminster Kennel Club Show are judged based on gait, coat and personality. It's the same way we choose of presidents.
* Atlanta is bracing for another round of winter weather. You know what that means. The town snowplow is being removed from its blocks.
* Creighton lost to St. John's Sunday night due to poor free throw shooting. It's just too bad for Creighton that the free throw line isn't 40 feet from the basket.