* * * * * * * * * *
Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read Brad's morning jokes.
* Omaha could see highs in the 50s this weekend. Take that, MUD.
* When it gets up to 50 in February, Nebraskans head for Lake McConaughy with their surfboards.
* A new reports finds all Froot Loops are actually the same flavor. To Americans, this tops any scandal Chris Christie could possibly be involved in.
* An online video shows a helicopter in China using its bottom blade to open a beer. Well, it didn't take the Chinese long to get the hang of capitalism.
* A deer crashed through a window at a Long Island, N.Y., restaurant. The couple nearest the window had an awkward moment because they were eating venison. "Uh, they were out of beef."
* I'm just glad we got a break from the stupid Winter Olympics this week for a real sport -- the Westminster Kennel Club dog show.
* If you've been watching the Winter Olympics on NBC, of course you know the big story -- Shaun White finished fourth!
* Shaun White failed to medal. Attention World-Herald headline writers: consider "Flying Tomato Grounded."
* The Canadian women's hockey team defeated the U.S., 3-2. In our defense, the U.S. is a nation where women's hockey doesn't qualify for funding as a "religious organization."
* The U.S. Winter Olympic team has had a somewhat disappointing showing thus far. Dare I say this may disprove the long-held belief that eating Wheaties and McDonald's is the best preparation for an Olympic athlete?
* I have this takeaway: Curling is the lawn darts of the Winter Olympics Games.
* New York City is preparing for a predicted 15 inches of snow. The flashers in Central Park are wearing long underwear.
* According to a new study, women prefer tall men. Bob Costas's week just keeps getting worse.
* Derek Jeter announced on Facebook he will retire after the 2014 season. It's not official until he tweets it.
* Jeter looks forward to sitting and doing nothing, sort of like A-Rod in the playoffs.