The Sochi opening ceremony gift bag included a blanket and “light up medallion.” Something’s wrong when Olympic gift bags pale in comparison to those at the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl.
The World-Herald has assigned our curling expert to cover that sport at the Winter Olympics. Our curling expert is a guy who once swept out his garage.
U.S. bobsledder Johnny Quinn got stuck in his bathroom and had to kick the door down. I’d rather watch footage of this than the gold medal pairs figure skating event.
A Swedish skier wiped out after his pants fell down. If this is your favorite Olympic moment so far, you are probably not a true connoisseur of winter sports.
NBC figure skating commentator Johnny Weir has been showing off his “necklaces and wedge booties.” And even he criticized Craig Sager for not dressing masculine enough.
How about that incredible display of security with thousands of sharpshooters, hundreds of dogs, barbed wire and electric fences? And that’s just at the NBA All-Star Game.
The Nebraska football team successfully recruited a defensive end from Alabama and a quarterback from Georgia. That’s the best way to scare other Big Ten teams — turn into a Southeastern Conference team.
The Northwestern football team has begun the process of forming a union. Let’s hope this doesn’t catch on. Big Ten baseball has enough issues without a team of scabs showing up for a tournament.
A proposed rule change to slow down college offenses would allow substitutions on defense within the first 10 seconds of the 40-second clock except in the final two minutes of each half. Enforcing this will be ambitious for a sport that still can’t get holding right.
Oklahoma State coach Mike Gundy went on a Twitter rant. Which I originally predicted two seconds after the invention of Twitter.
Creighton players had a chance encounter with U2 lead singer Bono at the airport after playing St. John’s. That’s an improvement over the Missouri Valley, when on a trip to Evansville, Creighton once ran into “the Polka queen.”
Of course, there was an element of being star-struck. I’m talking about Bono when he met Doug McDermott.
In basketball winning percentage, the Harlem Globetrotters have dropped to No. 2 behind the Wichita State Shockers.
A wire fox terrier named Sky won Best in Show at the Westminster Kennel Club Show. He’s known as “the LeBron James of dog shows.” That means whenever another competitor bumps him, Sky flops to the floor.
Morgan Shepherd, 72, is attempting to become the oldest driver to qualify for the Daytona 500. During qualifying, his is the car with the “Ask me about my grandchildren” bumper sticker.
Tiger Woods’ niece won the Australian Ladies Masters. Now Tiger isn’t even the leader in his own family for major victories the past five years.
Bob Uecker is getting a second statue in Milwaukee. Which leads me to the conclusion there’s a severe shortage of statue-worthy citizens in Milwaukee.
And finally: Derek Jeter said he will retire at the end of the 2014 season. MLB is bracing for approximately 2 million “Take A-Rod with you” grandstand signs.