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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read Brad's morning jokes.
* A popular Florida beach was closed last month after a 12-foot alligator was spotted. With the winter Omaha's had, I'd be willing to take my chances with a 12-foot alligator.
* A couple hundred people turned out at the Lincoln airport to welcome home Olympic bronze medalist Curt Tomasevicz. That's amazing. I mean, just the part about there being a couple hundred people at the Lincoln airport.
* The Kearney archway has a grand re-opening on Saturday. There will be a we'll-keep-doing-this-until-we-get-it-right theme.
* All the Kearney archway officials will be there, provided they can find the place this time.
* Omaha ended 2013 with a surplus in excess of $10 million. This means that Mayor Stothert can finally stop going through City Hall couch cushions searching for loose change.
* Dick Cheney took a "jab" at President Obama. What, did Cheney mistake Obama for a Republican?
* I originally predicted this would happen two seconds after Obama's first inauguration.
* Jimmy Kimmel is expecting his third child. That rivalry with Jimmy Fallon is already out of control.
* Facebook now offers more than 50 selections for "gender." I've been racking my brain for hours and so far I've come up with four.
* The Sun (London) claims Justin Bieber took a diet drug commonly given to horses to get six-pack abs. Next time Bieber performs at Omaha's CenturyLink Center, it may be as part of the International Horse Show in April.
* NBC reporters are accused of intentionally making athletes weep during the Winter Olympics. NBC now stands for Nothing But Crying.
* Olympic figure skating judging was an eye-opener. For the first time in my life, I appreciate the work of college basketball referees.
* Former WWE wrestler CM Punk has been offered a job by an adult film company. He'd be entering the one field with worse acting than pro wrestling.