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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* It's super cold again. Omaha may get a new city slogan. How about "Can you feel your toes?"
* Omaha Mayor Stothert delivered her first State of the City address Wednesday. Omaha has the only State of the City address that's preceded and followed by fireworks demonstrations.
* Stothert vowed to spend our money carefully. That always sounds better than saying, "We'll be blowing every dime of tax revenue on Tootsie Rolls, party hats and snow globes."
* In the speech, Mayor Stothert said she will soon decide on a new fire chief that shares her goals. World domination?
* MUD dropped a top candidate for president after a World-Herald article examined his controversial past. MUD officials would've vetted the candidate themselves, but were too busy laughing maniacally at all the revenue brought in this cold winter.
* President Obama has had one 1-on-1 meeting with John Boehner in the past year. I'm pretty sure Obama has met twice with the Washington Wizards' mascot, G-Man.
* Something may be amiss when, in the past year, Obama has met with John Boehner and Charles Barkley an equal number of times.
* In that one year, I'm guessing Obama has met with Jay Leno, Jimmy Fallon and Sharon Osbourne about a dozen times each.
* My headline of the day: "New Zealand Politician Denies He's a Reptile From Outer Space."
* A citizen of New Zealand made a bizarre claim that the prime minister is a "reptilian alien." In the U.S., this is called "pretty much any campaign."
* Hey, I'd be glad if we could get someone with the qualifications of a reptilian lizard alien to serve in Congress.
* Wisconsin has a bill to legalize wagering on rubber duck races. I think this is stupid, and I live in a state where legislators considered a bill allowing a human to eat a horse.
* An expert says the commercial airplane of the future will be "a holistic ... approach inspired by nature." Personally, I'd be happy if the plane of the future had seats we could squeeze our butts into.
* Facebook usage among young teens is down sharply. Just when I think I'm losing hope in young Americans, along comes an inspirational story like this.
* The Denver County Fair will feature marijuana contests. OK, now this is getting obnoxious, Colorado.