brad_dickson

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/brad and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning jokes.

* Highs in the 40s are predicted for Omaha this weekend. Take it with a grain of salt. These are the same people who predicted 18 inches of snow for Omaha on Tuesday.

* Newsweek has ranked the top high schools in America. OPS did well in the "Most snow days even though the streets are pretty much all clear" category.

* The new Omaha phone book was just delivered to my front porch. Wait, that was the World-Herald college football signing day section.

* Another Democratic presidential debate was held Thursday night. Instead of speaking Bernie Sanders just threw free stuff to the crowd.

* Hillary Clinton got visibly angry during Thursday night's debate. I can't blame her. One of the MSNBC moderators forgot to kiss her feet.

* In Japan, a science exhibit described as a “huge, faux human body” went on display. You enter by walking in an enormous rectum. Finally, some Facebook vacation photos I’d like to see.

* It re-enacts bodily functions and you enter through the rectum. I’m thinking it’s not a good idea to arrive an hour after breakfast.

* You walk in through the rectum. That sounds like an apartment that someone would rent sight unseen off of Craigslist.

* Coveted California safety Lamar Jackson announced he's coming to Nebraska in a short film. It's already been seen by more people than saw "Dirty Grandpa."

* If Nebraskans had a vote for the Best Picture Oscar ...

* CBS is sending 550 people to cover the Super Bowl. I'm guessing about 380 are former NFL officials there to second guess the referees' calls.

* I can't remember who won the Super Bowl two years ago, but I recall many of the commercials.

* The Cleveland Browns owner recently said the relationship with Johnny Manziel is fixable. Sure it is. It’ll just be 10 times more difficult than achieving peace in the Middle East.

* Andre Drummond set a record for missed free throws in an NBA game — 23 — breaking Wilt Chamberlain’s record. “How was my night? Oh, I just broke one of Wilt Chamberlain’s records, that’s all.”

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