brad_dickson

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/brad and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning jokes.

* Omaha has already had more snow – 27.2 inches – than it normally gets in an entire winter. That's pretty daunting news for a town that went into a tailspin after the first .2 inches.

* The World-Herald's fine Cuba series featured an airport runway outside of Havana full of potholes, pockmarks and uneven ... wait, that was Offutt Air Force Base. Never mind.

* On the hierarchy of holidays, for guys Valentine's Day ranks somewhere behind Groundhog Day.

* This year you can buy a dozen long-stemmed roses whose "petals" are made from Doritos. This is the one thing that could get guys into Valentine's Day.

* President Obama is scheduled to appear on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" Friday. I was getting worried; it's been almost 72 hours since the president appeared on a talk show.

* Thursday night's Democratic presidential candidate debate aired on PBS. It was a refreshing break from normal 2017 presidential debate moderators Kathie Lee and Hoda.

* It is reported that Donald Trump once liked Megyn Kelly. He had her ranked among the 85 best blondes on Fox News.

* The Nebraska women's basketball team lost to Minnesota 110-73. For a while it looked like Minnesota was about to be renamed "Land of 10,000 Points."

* Marquette student and Omaha native Jamey Schilling offered Providence player Kris Dunn $10 to miss a free throw, then wrote out a check after Dunn missed. If Andre Drummond could get an offer like that, he could triple his salary.

* ESPN college football analysts are planning to spend Valentine's Day with loved ones: SEC schools.

* According to a report, before he was released the Cowboys' Joseph Randle gambled on sports. If he bet on the 2015 Dallas Cowboys he’s already been punished enough.

* The Cincinnati Reds are erecting a statue of Pete Rose. No truth to rumors the statue will be rolling dice.

* Elton Brand has come out of retirement to play for the Philadelphia 76ers. Because he’s playing for the 76ers, now he’s just semi-retired.

* A Belgian cyclist got caught with a concealed motor in her bike at the cyclocross world championships. I picture Lance Armstrong: “A motor? Darn it, I knew I missed one.”

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