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BREAKING BRAD

BREAKING BRAD

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BREAKING BRAD

LAMPOONING THE LATEST NEWS. BY BRAD DICKSON

A fourth Dunkin' Donuts opened in Omaha last week. Are we sure that all those fireworks were for Independence Day?

Lincoln police cited a man for making illegal fireworks at a day care. Because they're Nebraska children, the kids at day care told him: "No, no, you're doing it all wrong. The fuse goes like this."

A 10-foot-wide sinkhole formed in a suburb outside Chicago. In Omaha, this would be declared a pothole, and a repair date of March 2018 would be set.

The first "marijuana breathalyzer" has been invented. So by this time next week, the streets of Colorado and Washington state should resemble a ghost town.

I heard that the inventor of the pot breathalyzer was driving past Coachella with the prototype and it exploded.

There's already a way to detect motorists who have marijuana:

They're the ones driving through Nebraska on 1-80 with out-of-state license plates. Never fails.

For Brad's latest musings, go to Omaha.com/Dickson

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