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4 unexpected perks of being pregnant

4 unexpected perks of being pregnant

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I’m a pregnant woman. I’m a beautiful miracle in action. I am literally creating life at this very moment. I also can’t bend over, walk into another room without heavy mouth breathing or avoid smashing my toddler across the room every time I turn my belly around. The heartburn keeps me up at night and, in my eighth month, I’m starting to fear time is running out when I’ll be able to wipe myself without assistance.

My point is – pregnancy is beautiful, but this crap can get bleak.

But I don’t want to complain. Sure, begging my husband to help me when I first got hemorrhoids like I was in cardiac arrest was a bad moment, but really, there are some great perks to pregnancy if you’re interested in silver linings. Here are a few of my favorite.

No one likes to watch a pregnant woman work.

We live on a lake and have a beach as our backyard. I was bending over pulling some weeds, hoping to get a little exercise and sun but also feeling like my pelvic floor was going to give way at any moment. In mere seconds, my wonderful neighbor was running to my rescue. “Please, don’t do that. I’ll have my son come over and drag your beach with his ATV.” Then she bent over and started pulling weeds for me as I started to debate getting a snack.

Let people help, it’s the least they could do.

You always get the best seat in the house.

Everyone gets up when the pregnant woman walks in the room. Well, maybe not your immediate family – you’ll probably have to kick them out of your favorite chair – but everyone else? Just walk in and start looking at the chair you want and they’ll pop right up like someone lit a campfire under their butt.

If, by some freaky chance everyone loses their mind and ignores your subtle clues, you can always say, “Hey Joe, can I sit there? My feet hurt.” Joe will leap out of that chair so fast his head will spin. Pro tip: Now would be the perfect time to ask him for a beverage.

People take great pleasure in feeding you.

Few things are as satisfying as feeding a hungry pregnant woman. Give her a piece of cake and you might as well give her a full body massage. Eating something decadent while pregnant is frankly a sensual experience that will make everyone around her slightly uncomfortable. It’s clearly God throwing pregnant women a bone, I think. “Sorry about the stretch marks, but hey – that cake tastes real good, amirite?” (wink)

I have the perfect excuse to get out of everything.

Rather die than go to the party your husband’s associate is throwing? Sorry! Morning sickness!

Sleepy and want to play hooky at work? Just say things like “pelvic floor,” “contractions” and “possible bloody show” and you’ll probably get the rest of the week off.

Don’t want to cook? Throw a box of cereal at your family – they’ll understand.

We all know pregnancy isn’t easy, but for every negative there’s a positive. If you’re pregnant like me, let someone else carry in the groceries, grab the best seat in the house, eat a delicious treat and cancel your plans.

Life is good.

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Anna Lind Thomas is a humor writer who considers herself a work-from-home mom to daughter, Lucy, soon-to-be baby No. 2 and English bulldog, Bruno; wife to Rob Thomas; and founder of HaHas for HooHas. You can follow her on Facebook and Twitter. She writes monthly for momaha.com.

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"As humans, we create miracles – human life – countless times per day. Yet, we fail to think we can make other miracles come to life. Our dream, our purpose or calling – what do you need to create? What begs to be born? We desire to create it, but often we just can’t seem to manifest it."

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It started off like any other day. My husband left for work in the morning as I did my writing. My 20-month-old woke up babbling and talking. My bulldog snored on our recliner. But it wasn’t just any other day; it was the day I questioned everything. A day I’ve now called, “I’ll never be the same again.”

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