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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* It rained briefly Thursday morning in Omaha. We’ve had so little rain the past couple of years, a jar was bottled and will soon go on display at the Durham Museum.
* Mayor Jean Stothert has been in Chicago -- to put as many miles as humanly possible between herself and former Fire Chief Mike McDonnell. I mean, to discuss Omaha’s bond rating.
* Former Fire Chief Mike McDonnell has presented his latest exit proposal to the mayor’s office. I believe this is Exit Proposal XXXVII.
* Welcome to the city that has no real budget, no real traffic control plan or no solid plan to lower taxes but has dozens of fire chief exit proposals.
* Movoto, a real estate website, ranked 50 cities according to how funny they are, and Omaha finished No. 50 out of 50. So apparently they’ve read my column.
* Omaha's not funny? Count the orange traffic cones on our streets and tell me this city doesn’t have a sense of humor.
* NASA has released photos that many say show the sun appearing to smile. I don’t think the sun is smiling; I think it’s laughing at Omahans trying to keep their yards green.
* Some lending institutions are now checking your Facebook friends, believing that who you friend can determine your “credit worthiness.” This isn’t the dumbest thing I ever heard -- oh, wait, yes, it is.
* There’s a technical term for lending institutions that do this. That term is “moronic.”
* The new cast of “Dancing with the Stars” includes Elizabeth Berkley, Snooki, Bill Nye, Amber Riley, Jack Osbourne and Bill Engvall. Evidently they’ve waived the requirement you have to be a star.
* In England, a man set a record by riding a jet-propelled shopping cart 70.4 mph on an airport runway. What does this do to the confidence of commercial airline passengers who are taxiing for takeoff and spot a shopping cart passing the plane?
* President Obama is attending the G-20 summit of world leaders in St. Petersburg, Russia. If Obama had only met with leaders who supported us in Syria, it would’ve been the G-2 summit.
* Obama landed in St. Petersburg at 2:06 p.m., which means, by 2:09 p.m., he’d checked out all the tourist attractions.
* G-20 summit host Vladimir Putin kicked off the proceedings by presenting every world leader with an exact facsimile of the New England Patriot owner’s Super Bowl ring.
* It was almost the G-21 summit. Obama asked if he could bring Joy Behar or Rachael Ray.
* President Obama said Bo the dog is lonely because all the attention has shifted to the new dog, Sunny. Mitt Romney said: “I know the feeling.”
* A sea snail hatched inside the knee of a four-year-old boy who’d returned from a day at the beach. Now, this is a real kid -- he’s got dirt on his face, his hair’s mussed and snails are hatching inside a scraped knee.
* A judge approved the Kodak company emerging from bankruptcy. Things would be looking up for Kodak if only it wasn’t for the four billion people in the world with camera phones.