Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad" appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.

* Breaking news: The Department of Health in Mexico just warned its citizens that if they have to travel to Council Bluffs, “Do not drink the water.”

* If you didn't hear, this is “Boil Your Tap Water Thursday” in Council Bluffs.

* On Wednesday, there was a large water-main break in Council Bluffs. Two to 3 million gallons gushed out in an hour. I haven't seen that much water in Council Bluffs since the last time I got a free drink in one of the casinos.

* Nebraska Gov. Dave Heineman is calling for a two-year tuition freeze at University of Nebraska campuses. OK, first the BCS gives way to college football playoffs. Now there may be a two-year tuition freeze at UNL. Just how much can UNL Chancellor Harvey Perlman take?

* Not one candidate on the ballot was elected on the baseball Hall of Fame. Is there any way we can do that in the next congressional elections?

* Lance Armstrong is going to appear with Oprah to reveal something important. If I go to the trouble of tuning in, all I can say is this revelation better be something better than he's back together with Sheryl Crow.

* It was just announced that "Gangnam Style" rapper PSY will star in a Super Bowl ad. In order for this to happen, he successfully petitioned for a rare 16th minute of fame.

* President Obama just nominated John Brennan to be CIA director. This is the only office where the nominee brings a date to the confirmation hearings.

* According to a recent CBS poll, President Obama has an approval rating of 57 percent. To put in perspective how good that is, it's roughly 56 and three-quarters percentage points higher than that approval rating of Congress.

* Obama received a heartfelt letter from a 10-year-old San Diego girl who invited him to dinner with her and her same-sex parents. Obama was so moved that he's planning to attend the dinner, provided it's $1,500 per plate.

* Some say that Alabama may have run up the score against Notre Dame in the BCS championship game. The only one who took a knee was Brent Musburger when he proposed to Miss Alabama.

* The other night, another Victoria's Secret Fashion Show aired ... wait, that was the GoDaddy.com Bowl.

* A man in Toronto paid $3,500 for a toilet from the Maple Leafs' old locker room. I'm guessing this will be the last time his wife tells him to surprise her for Christmas.

* A Twinkie signed by Cy Young Award-winning pitcher David Price sold for $56 on eBay. Even the guy who bought the Maple Leafs toilet for $3,500 said, “Are you nuts?”

* The Kansas City Chiefs signed new coach Andy Reid after he was fired by the Eagles. Now the Chiefs are even picking up their coaches off the waiver wire.

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