Breaking Brad: Cowboys lineman proposes to Brooke Hogan


Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad" appears daily on and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.

* In his state of the state speech, Gov. Dave Heineman called for eliminating the state income tax. The best way to get the Legislature to approve this? Everybody in Omaha needs to pretend we don't want it. “We can hurt Omaha by passing this thing – let's do it.”

* Heineman said the proposal to eliminate the state income tax is "bold and courageous." Unfortunately, it's up to the Legislature now.

* The Nebraska Legislature may be charged with revamping our tax system. Which is pretty ambitious for a body that found it next to impossible to reach a consensus on the legality of eating horse meat.

* I thought this was rude. Toward the end of Heineman's state of the state speech, there was a buzzing noise. Apparently, Ernie Chambers had set his snooze alarm.

* The hearings for Defense Secretary nominee Chuck Hagel are expected to be confrontational. Fortunately, Hagel is a former talk radio host in Omaha, so whatever the Senate throws at him is bound to be less confrontational than his average caller.

* Chuck Hagel is opposed by some members of his own party. Mitt Romney said, “Join the club.”

* President Obama's inauguration is going to be significantly scaled down from the one in 2009. Instead of 15,000 people cheering while marching down Pennsylvania Avenue it's just gonna be Joe Biden driving a Mini Cooper.

* I'm trying to confirm that the theme of the inauguration will be “The Thrill Is Gone.”

* President Obama said being nice doesn't lead to a deal with Congress. Hey, I think it's just great to see someone speaking out against niceness this time of year and not have it be Bill Belichick referencing what it takes to win the playoffs.

* I missed the big Facebook announcement on Tuesday. Here's hoping it's something with more gravitas than “Can this avocado get more likes than Nickelback?” just crossed the 10 million mark.

* The Chicago Bears hired Marc Trestman of the Montreal Alouettes as head coach. Great, now even the jobs of our football coaches are being outsourced.

* The new coach is coming from Canada. “Da Bears” is out. In is “Eh Bears.”

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